A family reunion is a time of hugs and kisses, laughter and smiles. It is a time to reaffirm familial ties, to sit among our kinfolk and reverently listen as older members retell stories of ancestors lovingly remembered. It is also a time we make new stories that will someday be told by our grandchildren to theirs.
These days, family reunions come in many forms. From old-fashioned picnics in backyards and parks to more elaborate settings at hotels, these gatherings give us a warm sense of belonging to something greater than ourselves.
Sometimes reunions can be the focus of family vacations, lasting from several days to a week. Recently, some families have used the Internet to plan their gatherings. Yet, no matter where we meet or how it comes about, a family getting together is one of the greatest gifts we can bequeath to our children and give to ourselves.
Here, several Georgians share how their families have kept this cherished tradition alive.
The Lay-Hall Reunion
"It’s just one great big glow," says Jim Lay of the reunions he has attended since age 3.
"We have an aunt and two great aunts who started the reunion because, in our daddy’s mother’s family, three Hall sisters all married two Lay brothers and a Lay first cousin. So that’s how the Lay-Halls came about," Jim explains. "So the ones that liked each other enough to do so decided in 1937 they would meet."
Jim still recalls the first reunion, held at a park in Cleveland, Tenn., "because we went swimming," he says. The second gathering also took place there. Then, subsequent reunions were held in parks near Calhoun because most family members lived in the area.
Today, Lay-Hall descendants meet the second Sunday in June at Stone Leigh, Jim’s home in Calhoun, which is also his birthplace. "It’s more convenient to meet there," says Jim’s sister, Kay Earnest of Smyrna. Jim’s air-conditioned home offers some older family members escape from the summer heat, she explains.
A beloved tradition, Lay-Hall reunions are organized by a president, who is a family member elected by the others to oversee planning for that year. There is also a secretary who sends out notification letters, a treasurer who collects money for mailing, and a historian who takes pictures.
Typically, 50 to 70 people attend the covered-dish event; many dishes come straight out of the family cookbook, "Now Let Us Praise Fried Pies," published in 1982 by Hall Printing Co. in Marietta. (See recipes, page 36.)
The family has also participated in numerous activities over the years. Some folks have dressed as ancestors and performed; others have sung and danced. Once, a teacher dressed as Mother Goose and told stories to the children. "Sometimes we just sit and talk about very precious times," says Kay.
Good-humored and gregarious, Jim often regales children with the story about a great aunt whose husband died in the Civil War and whose pony Union soldiers confiscated after the battle of Resaca. "She stood screaming at the gate, ‘Don’t take my pony!’ and of course, they did. So she sat down in a rocking chair and rocked for 11 years, shaking her head," says Jim. Full of hatred for the North, she would pound her cane on the floor at Stone Leigh and say, "Get out! The Yankees are coming." She died in the front bedroom, and "sometimes when it’s dark and dreary outside, you can hear her pounding on the floor," says Jim, laughing. "I love to tell that story; the children’s eyes get so big."
Each year, the Lay-Halls display old family photographs and a spinning wheel that belonged to Granny Hall (Mary Talitha Kinman Hall, "mother of us all," says Kay). Later, they sit in a circle and each family in the group reports what has happened that year. They also have a moment of remembrance for those who have died. "At the conclusion, we always join hands in a great big circle and sing ‘Blessed Be the Tie That Binds,’" says Jim.
Jim cheerfully admits he loves this tradition. "It’s important for the young people to know their roots, and for all of us to remember the people who made us what we are, and who loved us, and gave us all a good beginning," he says.
The Estes Family Reunion
"If you want to really learn family history, this is the way to do it, to get family together and enjoy," advises Sara Verner, who has hosted the Estes reunion since 1952. "And if you have a special place to meet, I think it’s great to go to the same place every year."
That special place for Estes descendants is the old home place in Rutledge, where Sara’s mother was born in 1890. Sara was born there, too, and it is also the home where she and husband Henry have lived since 1949 and raised their family of seven.
Held the fourth Sunday in June, the reunion takes place under shade trees in the yard. "Everybody brings food and, oh, it is a wonderful spread!" Sara says. One praiseworthy dessert is Cousin Nancy’s lemon-cheese layer cake. "Everybody knows Nancy’s cake. It is fantastic!" (For recipe, see the Georgia Cooks section.)
Sara and Henry have hosted as few as 57 to more than 100 family members at various reunions. "We don’t send out invitations; folks just know to mark it on their calendar," Sara explains.
Sara usually begins preparing two weeks in advance with extensive house cleaning and yard work. "I just start cleaning in places that I don’t normally clean and, if a door is shut, I just tell people to keep it shut. It is a lot of work and, at my age (77), it’s not easy," she admits. For inspiration, she thinks about her mother, who hosted reunions until she was 92. "So, I say, if Mama could do it, then I can too."
Fortunately, Sara gets considerable help from Henry and their grown children. "Without them, there’s no way we could do it!"
There’s always a backup plan for bad weather. In past years, when it rained, the Verners moved the festivities to places such as an old gym, a local restaurant and inside their barn.
"It’s a lot of work," says Sara. "And you say, ‘I’m not going to do this again,’ but you [do]. The people come and they love it! They can’t say enough about how much they appreciate it and, oh, you just do it for family. And I do it for our family—our children and grandchildren, I guess, as much as for the others."
They need to know that you love to do it, Sara says of her family. "I am so tired when it starts and so tired when it’s over, but I love every minute of it while they’re here. I wouldn’t take anything for it."
The Adams Cemetery Reunion
"When I tell people we’re having our ‘cemetery reunion,’ it kind of sets them back and some people say, ‘Oh, I wouldn’t want to attend a reunion in a cemetery,’" says Decatur resident Floyd Adams. "And I say, ‘Oh well, it’s like getting all the family together.’"
Getting this family together occurs every fourth Saturday in July at the Adams Cemetery in Covington, which is located on three acres of the original homestead of Floyd’s great-great-grandfather, William Adams. Floyd surmises that one of William’s sons, killed in the Civil War, was most likely the first Adams buried there.
It all began when the house burned down in 1948. Georgia law required that to keep property tax-exempt, the owner must set foot
on the land once a year. So one cousin, who lived in Monroe, along with some other cousins, took rakes and hoes to the property to clean the cemetery. Their wives packed lunches for them and, before long, were going too. Ultimately this ritual developed into an annual reunion in the late 1950s.
Today, a perpetual trust managed by a board of trustees provides funds to maintain the grounds. On reunion day, the board meets an hour before the main meal to discuss family and cemetery business.
"It’s just like a regular reunion," Floyd explains. Four or five people bring card tables and set them up; everybody brings a covered dish. People take pictures and sometimes bring old photographs. Attendance varies each year, with as few as 30 and as many as 150 people.
After the meal, everyone puts chairs in a circle to share their news. The secretary reads the minutes from the previous year and the treasurer reports on the trust. Before departing, many folks walk around the cemetery, visiting graves. Among those buried here is Claude Adams, who founded Georgia 4-H in 1904.
"In all the years I have attended, while we ate, it’s never rained, and there’s always been a pleasant breeze," Floyd observes, adding that many relatives believe the spirits are looking after them on reunion day—perhaps, one might speculate, as their way of watching over those who cared for them these many years in what folks call the best-maintained family cemetery in Covington.
The Bob Hodge Reunion
"We want family to know family," insists Valdosta resident Ardie Pearson. Named for Ardie’s grandfather, who was born in Ocilla around the mid 1800s, the Bob Hodge Reunion takes place biannually and is organized by a family volunteer.
"Usually, we have it at a nice hotel, and we go from one state to another," Ardie says. "We had it in Valdosta three years ago; last year, it was in Daytona Beach, Fla.; and next year in Durham, N.C."
Clifford Hodge and Willie Mae Burke, two of Bob Hodge’s grandchildren, hosted the first reunion in the summer of 1984 in Atlanta; then the second reunion took place in Hempstead, N.Y., in 1987. Held on a weekend in late June or July, typically 125 to 200 people attend. "We have a big family, honey," says Ardie. "It’s never been just 30 or 40 people. No, no, no! That’s not a family reunion!"
Why every two years? "We have a lot of people who are seniors, like me," she explains. "We’re on fixed incomes and can’t afford to go every year."
For Bob Hodge descendants, a hotel is ideal. "It’s good to have a big place where everybody can get together and you have those extra rooms you can use," Ardie says. "And then everything is planned and [hotel staff] prepares everything. You don’t have to worry about anything! You know, that’s me. When I go on vacation, I’m on vacation—period!"
The children have a ball, she adds. "When we were in New Jersey, they had two swimming pools, and they opened those pools for those kids any time they wanted."
The person planning the reunion sends out letters indicating the location, date, driving directions and prices for rooms, food and T-shirts. The key is organization, Ardie advises. "You can’t wait until the last minute, or something’s not going to get done."
When reunion time rolls around, everyone arrives at the hotel on Friday and attends a get-acquainted gathering that evening. Saturday, folks usually go sightseeing, picnic together or visit local attractions. Then, that evening, they attend their banquet. Individual families sit together; the meal is buffet. Each head of a family addresses the crowd and updates everyone on family news. Then there is a service in which someone carries a candle for each person who has died. Sunday morning, everyone attends a church breakfast and a family member, usually a preacher, gives a sermon. Afterwards, they all head home.
For Ardie, it’s pure elation from start to finish. "It’s just a feeling that you’re all together—all enjoying each other and learning of people you’ve never heard of before, seeing people you’ve never seen before who you didn’t even know were your relatives," she says "I wouldn’t take it away for anything!"
